Gratitude! Gratitude! Gratitude!

I am a huge believer in creating, storing up and spreading positive energy through the powerful process of gratitude.

Why is this so important? Well, as a species we evolved with some pretty good sensors for detecting potential dangers. I’m sure we can all agree that pain gets our attention…and the potential for pain is something we like to avoid.

That’s right…we don’t want that. So we spend a lot of time and energy looking for possible problems so that we can then try to make sure we don’t experience them. The theory is that by being aware of all the problems out there that could possibly happen to us, that then we will be “prepared.” Apparently this worked pretty well when we all lived out in the wild and life or death situations were always imminent. We had to keep our senses tuned for our “enemies” and the ‘fight or flight response’ was appropriate for survival.

Today, if you are like most people, you are still very focused on what is wrong (or potentially wrong) with every picture, and maybe not as adept at noticing what is RIGHT!

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Wouldn’t you rather flood your body with feelings of pleasure so that instead of walking around stressed and tired from fighting imaginary battles, you can feel happy and strong? Wouldn’t that prepare you better should you actually need to face an “enemy?”

The best way to feel good in any moment no matter where you are or what is happening around you? Start thinking about what you have to be grateful for… And don’t stop! Ever!

And then start being grateful for stuff that hasn’t happened yet. Imagine great things happening, and feel the gratitude RIGHT NOW. Store up that positive energy, so you will have that in reserve instead of stress hormones. Try it. I promise you will want to keep doing it.

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Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work. And What Does.

Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution? If you are like most people, you probably have. And, if you’re like most people… that’s right, there’s a good chance that you haven’t kept them.

Can you remember how you were feeling about that aspect of yourself or your life that you were (at that moment) determined to change? Not that great, right? How about your level of confidence about your ability to follow through and actually achieve the change? Not that high, was it?

If making a decision on a particular day – say December 31st – was enough to make this change, you probably would have done it sooner. Resolutions usually involve changes that we have wanted to make for a while, yet for some reason(s) we have probably consciously, and definitely unconsciously… been procrastinating.

Suddenly you realize another year is about to start and here you are still stuck in old patterns that: you don’t like, that aren’t getting you where you want to go, that you tell yourself you “should” have changed… the patterns suck… you suck because you haven’t been able to shift them, and get beyond where you are that you don’t want to be… life sucks because the conditions are not favorable or supportive… maybe since birth – it could be your parents’ fault… but basically, you are not good enough the way you are… and your life is not good enough the way it is… so damn it, you are going to make some changes!

Armed with all this positive energy… is it any wonder we have trouble following through?

Wanna get to know who is living inside your head offering all this judgment?

Try this little exercise:

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1. Notice the thoughts and feelings that come up.
2. Then write down these opinions being offered by your “inner voices” and how this makes you feel.
3. Draw a line.
4. Now think of something you achieved in the past that you are proud of.
5. Close your eyes for a moment and think about that achievement, and write down what comes to you.

Did you notice a difference in your self talk? Defeatist, critical voices taking a break? Doesn’t that feel a lot better?

If we set goals or make resolutions from a place of focusing on the NOT being or having what we want, we are not in the kind of positive, resourceful state that leads us to get inspired and motivated to move toward what we want.

Instead, why not just think about how you like to feel, beginning to feel it NOW… and from this place, setting your intentions… I bet you can think about some small steps which, if you started taking them now would make you feel even better.

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A Little Kindness

Last Friday, November 1st was a day of record winds in Montreal. And, on Fridays I park at my daughter’s house and walk down to pick up my little granddaughter at daycare.

This is, of course, one of the greatest pleasures of my life! On this day, I was a little concerned about the wind that they said would be gusting up to 90k/hr. It is a 15- minute walk each way, so after speaking with my daughter, we decided I would try walking there and see if it was OK.

On the way down, it was windy, but not crazy, so I figured… no problem. I surrounded myself with white light (it was really windy!) and all was well. After spending almost 30 minutes getting out of the daycare (she had awakened from her nap late…snack…get dressed…) off we went.

The wind had definitely picked up. But, it was manageable until suddenly… it wasn’t! A huge gust blew the top of the stroller way up, blowing on my little one, and scaring both of us. I could hardly walk, and I knew I had to stop, turn around and zipper the plastic rain protector on.

How I was going to do this was another story.
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And, then…there she was! A young woman coming toward me looked at me with the kindest eyes I have ever seen. She held out her arms and said: “Let me help you.” And she did – MORE THAN SHE WILL EVER KNOW! She held the stroller in place while I attached the plastic cover – no easy task in that wind – I thanked her profusely, and made it the rest of the way home.

Interestingly, that very morning, I was suggesting to a client that he could really change his life by doing ‘random acts of kindness’ which I always love to do.

However, until this experience, I had no idea just how powerful what seems like a simple, natural helping moment could actually be for the recipient. I will probably never see that young woman again. But, I will never forget her! Tears of joy and gratitude come to my eyes every time I think of her because of the magnitude of the gift that she gave to a stranger in trouble who just needed a couple of minutes of help.

And, it has truly been a gift that keeps on giving, because I haven’t stopped paying it forward ever since.

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