A Day in the Life Coach

Hedonism is defined as: “the seeking of pleasure” which seems to me to be a very worthwhile endeavor.

In fact, doesn’t it seem likely that if we were encouraged to feel good about being pleasure seekers…if we could do it with abandon…if we didn’t think we had to be half-baked hedonists who only semi-enjoy “guilty” pleasures…wouldn’t the world be a better place?

But, check your Thesaurus. Hedonism: “self indulgence” / “decadence” / “debauchery” / “depravity”…you get the idea…

Spending time with my 12-month-old granddaughter which is my favorite thing in the world to do, I am always struck by what a wonderful little hedonist she is!

When something pleases her, her entire face lights up, and she claps and giggles and wriggles with delight. When she is eating something she likes, there is no question about it! Her eyes are smiling, and she has to have some in each hand as well as assurances that there is more where that came from.
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When she takes a long, thirst-quenching drink from her sippy cup, her satisfaction is palpable – nothing at all subtle about it. And we all share in her pleasure!

Self indulgence? Really? At what age does our culture start to dictate that unbridled enjoyment is a “sin?” That “the seeking of pleasure” is somehow suddenly a negative idea?

I love to take my dog for long walks on the mountain everyday, and I work out and do yoga regularly. I don’t do it because I think I should, or because I am afraid not to. I exercise because I enjoy it. A lot! And yet, I am always being congratulated for being so “disciplined” because people are so not used to seeking the pleasure in things we do, that they have trouble believing that I can be doing something “good for me” just because I love it.

We talk a lot these days about the “importance” of living in the moment, as if this is a task that requires discipline and hard work. How about just opening ourselves up to the possibility of indulging in the pleasure of the moment…and spreading that good feeling around?

Today is Canadian Thanksgiving which got me thinking about gratitude.

I realized that something I am so grateful for is how grateful I feel so much of the time in my life.

You know, it wasn’t always like that. I trained myself to look for reasons to be grateful on a regular basis only once I came to understand the value of gratitude on the ever-expanding journey of spiritual awareness that I have chosen to experience.

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So…as it comes to me…not in order of importance…today I am grateful for the amazing weather we have been having…for how much I love my son-in-law…for the fiercely loving and close and fun relationship I have with my incredible daughter…for my sweet, so smart, so adorable granddaughter who loves me so much and who makes my heart sing every minute…for Maddie, my wonderful dog and constant companion who keeps me walking…for my work which fulfills me and rewards me, and helps people to find their own gratitude…for my friends who support me and challenge me and make me laugh…for my home which I notice how much I love every time I come in…for the fortune of being born here and into my family…for my education, my intelligence, my health…for all I’ve learned, and all there is out there that confuses me and intrigues me and keeps me seeking…

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is a basic pre-supposition of NLP that is taught at the very beginning of NLP Practitioner Training. So…what does it mean?

Implied in this belief, is the power we have as communicators to tailor our communication (to particular audiences) to elicit the kind of response we are looking for.

Also implied is the responsibility we have, as communicators to be aware of this power, and to use it in positive ways.

It suggests that ‘meaning’ is not part of some objective reality that everyone can agree upon, and experience in the same way. It is subjective, and there is no guarantee that what you say or do will be interpreted by others in the way you perceive it.

So, if you want to communicate effectively and be ‘heard’ it’s really important to listen. And respond.

I have been quite struck by the intense battle over what has come to be known as Obamacare. Briefly, the Democrats introduced this groundbreaking legislation for somewhat universal healthcare in the US, called The Affordable Care Act. The Republicans, determined to prevent President Obama from accomplishing anything, let alone this huge feat, immediately dubbed this legislation ‘Obamacare’ and went after it with a vengeance.
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As someone who is very conscious of the power of communication, I knew that this was a smart move by the Republicans. Take away the idea of ‘affordable care’ that would resonate with most people and replace it with a mockery that said nothing and sounded like an ego thing for Obama.

Imagine my horror when I heard that Obama said he liked the name, and he started using it too. Maybe he thought he was going to beat them at their own game, or he was so sure that this was going to be a major part of his legacy that he wanted it to carry his name in perpetuity… Obviously no one trained in NLP is in his circle of advisors.

Late night talk show host, Jimmy Kimmel recently took to the streets to ask Americans which they preferred: The Affordable Care Act or Obamacare (which are one and the same!) Everyone said they preferred The Affordable Care Act although they knew nothing about it, and they had all kinds of criticism about Obamacare.

Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx2scvIFGjE

The meaning of our communication is the response we get. Can you see how this might apply in your own life?